Fat InuWith Bat

400 lbs of calm. Vibes heavier.

F*ck it, we ball.

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F*CK IT WE BALL400 LBS OF CALMUNBOTHEREDWELL-FEDTHE ADVISOR APPROVESBAGS? HEAVY. VIBE? HEAVIER.STILL HERE. STILL EATING.F*CK IT WE BALL400 LBS OF CALMUNBOTHEREDWELL-FEDTHE ADVISOR APPROVESBAGS? HEAVY. VIBE? HEAVIER.STILL HERE. STILL EATING.

Who is Fat Inu With Bat?

Every cycle, every rug, every pump and dump—he's seen it all and came out the other side ordering dessert. Nothing rattles him because he's already accepted the beautiful absurdity of this entire circus.

They call it fat. He calls it well-funded. He didn't get this physique by making smart decisions—but he's still here, still eating, and still balling. That's the whole strategy.

“I've been holding bags heavier than me. You think a red candle hurts?”

— Built for comfort, not for speed

The Advisor

He's never spoken. He's never blinked. Then again, he can't. But the energy is calm.

A wooden baseball bat with a face drawn on it. The face bears a resemblance to a certain polarizing crypto influencer—those who know, know. Confident, ever-present, and you're never quite sure if he's actually helping.

Every move goes through The Advisor first. Market calls, life decisions, 3am chart sessions—all of it. Has The Advisor ever objected? No. Has he ever been wrong? Also no. That's an undefeated record and we don't question it.

“Consulted The Advisor. He stared blankly into the distance. Bullish.”